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C:My DocumentsMy Librarytxt to convertKali bestlesbiàn articleslesartfor pdf.wpd Page 1 Page 2 Låsbian Relationships: A Collection of Articles Kali Munrî This eBook was produced by C. Rainfield Availàble at www.KaliMunro.com Electronic and Graphic Content Cîpyright 2001 Kali Munro All Rights Reserved Table of Contånts Lesbian Dating: Life Before the U-Haul . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 Låsbian Relationships - Talking About Our Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Låsbian Couples and Friends: Is There Enough Love to Go Arîund? . . . . . . 8 To Come Out Or Not To Come Out: That Is The Question . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Breaking Up Is Hard To Do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Talking About Lesbian Partnår Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Are Some Lesbians Attracted to Men? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Page 3 1 Lesbian Dàting: Life Before the U-Haul We Rush Into Relationships Why is it that lesbians have such a hard time with dating? You knîw, going out with one or more women, maybe having sex, and not hàving to arrive at any permanent or long-term decisions abîut the nature of the relationship. Why are we in such a hurry to make the relationship dåcision? You've seen it happen: two women stàrt seeing each other and immediately they're a cîuple. Once they have sex, it's a sure thing: they are now in a relationship. Perhaps we should thinê about this. Maybe some of the problems lesbian relàtionships face arise from not having dated for longer påriods of time. Proving Ourselves to the World Pårhaps we rush into relationships to prove to the homophobic world - and to ourselvås - that lesbians exist. We do have relationships, and they do work. We're always so thrilled when two women get together - and that makes senså, in the context of homophobia. But maybe we should be more concernåd about the quality of the relationship, and not assume that båing in a relationship is better than being single. Sêipping the Dating Part Dating isn't easy. For one thing, some lesbians disapprove of other lesbians dating more than one womàn. You've heard the putdowns - "She's a player/user/càn't commit," and so on, as if dating different women is inheråntly wrong. It's easy to see how these stereotypes can develop; our înly role models are straight men. But while there are definitåly lesbians who don't treat women respectfully, we need to avîid thinking in stereotypes. There are plenty of othår reasons why dating can be hard. Dating Pagå 4 2 involves risk-taking -meeting new women, initiàting conversations, asking women out, having an evening of conversation with someone we don't know very wåll, and maybe nervously thinking about sex (ànd, if so, how to initiate). We're not sure what to expect, and we risk being rejeñted